What is it with people and old flames?! It certainly is a touchy topic for most, as I see around me. But surprisingly, as I see, men and women react differently in the same situations.
A few cases in consideration.
About the guys I see
Despite the out of country study cum crazy time that RM had, he couldn't get his first love outta his mind. Still. 'tis been almost 4 yrs and a number of others in tow, now. Having swore himself off relationships, RJ still can't get over his erm, gf. He doesn't call it love, for reasons only known to himself. He's been trying for almost 3 years now. About A, well, when he told me about his gf of 7 and ex of 2 yrs then, he shouldn't really have said anything. The eyes and the voice said it all then. SD, as happy as he is with his love of the life right now, can't still get that one girl out of his system, still. For him, the struggle's been on for years now, between the salt and the spice of his life. SP. Well, what do I say about him. The fact that the girl he cared about for, while dating other women(!), about 8 yrs was seeing someone else was what it took to get out of it. Though, I still have my doubts. But, at least it did, momentarily. As for Al, ten years and her hence married and then divorced state, and his own string of women by the side, is not enough.
And hence consequently, their relationships with other women suffer too.
On the contrary
This is how the girls fare
SJ, doesn't really think about the ex of about 3 yrs. If at all, it's mostly about how crazy those days were. NS, she's dealing with it. Almost there, she's been saying for a year. I feel it's true too, now. AB, got on with life and is happily married now. So did GG. Not married yet, but happy and settled with the one she wants to get married to.
As for those who are not yet settled with others, they are all right with the parents finding them matches.
I don't say everyone needs to settle down. I can not even say that marrying your parents' choice would be wisest decision for most of us, considering our commitment-phobic nature. All I say is, albeit the past, the failed relationships, women are better prepared and more receptive towards other relationships. And that they make more efforts to make sure that the future ones are successful.
Is it because we, as women are more needy and scour for security in life or just plain simply, as Mr. Murphy put it, the truth remains -
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
13 comments:
Welll I agree with you completely...As a man i can say its hardship to forget...but I wont agree with you on woman part..
Regards
Niraj
Masallalemonade.blogspot.com
@ Niraj - :). so, what is your take on the women's way of life?
Welll...they to go through hardship but wat differentiate them is they don;t show but men does show his ill feeling...again there are some men and woman who don't even care...it totally depend on person to person...regardless to male or female..
It depends on individuals, maybe. But I feel, when a woman moves on to another relationship, she's free from her past(more often than not) But when it comes to the men, they get into another despite not being fully over the previous one!
welll i agree with that but does this mean male are more attached then female?
haha! I don't think it means 'that'. maybe just that - unattainable is always on the man's mind and that the the thrill lies in the chase?! :P
he he he...well it may applies to female as well...
Hey.. Although I havent been in a lot of relationships, but I think I do know a thing or two about whats going on here...!! A pretty elaborative 'case study' by the way.. :)
Its 100% true that its easier for Women to let go than Men.. There may be a couple of reasons for this..: 1. Its a fact that a girl generally finds a guy easily than a guy does.. So she spends less time in between two r'ships.. and thus, has less time to think about all what is behind her.. The guy on the other hand goes through hell after a break up.. Alone, thinking a lot about what went wrong, and thinkin even what he cud have done differently to make things work.. No offence and girls might also think about this stuff, but mostly, all this while the girl has already moved on..!!
The second reason for this, I think, is the guy's ego and his tendency to over-analyse things.. If things didnt work out between two of them, the girl doesnt really think too much into why it didnt work, whereas the guy fights with himself to prove that it was not because of him that it all ended on a sour note..
A few more points to support that , but then this comments section would in itself turn into a blog kinda.. :)
PS: This is just the personal viewpoint.. There will be contradictions to the same.. I respect everybody's views...
Cheers :)
haha.. agree totally on that.. we do cherish the wine that was never ours :)
@ Nikhil - would very much like to read your point of view on your blog!
@ Dr. R! long time! :) and still, as romantic as ever! :P
It has something to do with biology and evolution. Desmond Morris.
Women need to make the relationship work because they need a man who will be around for a long time to take care of her and the baby when both can't fend for themselves, the woman being pregnant or nursing and the baby being too young.
Men, on the other hand, move on faster and probe around in multiple places irrespective of their feelings because they need to plant their genes in as many places as they can in order to wipe out the competition. Just one successful shot. And that doesn't take years.
Relationships, unfortunately, are not about love, just animal instincts. Love, the kind you have in most young relationships, is just a side effect.
Face it Nimisha, its a big bad world.
Irrespective of the the truths about the naked ape, I hope, and very sincerely so, that there are some that have been able to evolve more and have been able to to overcome their fears of the dragons of the eden( and I'm not talking about only the reptiles, here). :) :)
dragons of eden? eden only has a luscious lovely creature called eve, no dragons. notoriously wild and muchly feared dragons are hardly likely to fear other dragons.
btw i have been in goa the last few days, and every third shop is a tattoo shop out there !!
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